Thursday, 25 October 2012

Choose right, choose love! by Adesewa Olarewaju

Life is about choice, the choices we make as each day goes by; choice on what religion to follow, the university to go, what line of profession to go into, when to settle down and have our own family and certainly who we choose to love.  The list could go on and on but I will not want to bore you. The point I'm trying to make is that all these choices we make are the fundamentals of life.

“Your life is the sum result of all the choices you make, both consciously and unconsciously. If you can control the process of choosing, you can take control of all aspects of your life. ….” Robert F. Bennett.

In today’s piece I will like to stress the importance of the choices we make in our relationship and in WHOM we chooses to LOVE. LOVE is the greatest of all topics, YET, The most misunderstood element in a relationship. It seem that in today’s culture marriages/ relationship are having a shorter life span than a housefly, it NOT a joke but rather appalling. We live in a selfish culture that does not think highly of marriage. The reason for this is because of our ignorance. Our ignorance of the most misused, over-used and abused word LOVE.
 I'm sure if you ask people that are divorce today why their relationships got to that stage; you may be surprised to find out that they have not STOP loving the person in which they were married to. The reason for the breakup may not be love per se.  Love alone doesn't save marriage but knowledge, application of knowledge which is using wisdom and also OUR CHOICES.
As we all know that there are FOUR types of LOVE in the scripture, which are, divine love /God’s love (Agape; which is the greatest of all), brotherly love (philia love, in which most Christians practice towards each other), family love (storge love, the bond among mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers), and romantic love (The Greek word for sexual love or passionate love is eros). I will not be going in-depth into all the types of love mentioned above. But let us just concentrate on AGAPE LOVE.
“For God so greatly loved (AGAPE) and dearly prized the world that He [even] gave up His only begotten (unique) Son, so that whoever believes in (trusts in, clings to, relies on) Him shall not perish (come to destruction, be lost) but have eternal (everlasting) life”.  John 3:16 AMP 
We ought to establish the difference between agape love and Erotic love. As you can see from the scripture above, its evidence that agape love is God’s love and it’s by CHOICE; the choice to STAY TOGETHER till death do us part, the choice to work at a relationship despite all the opposition we might be facing. Also, AGAPE love is ABOUT giving, it’s also selfless. God chose to give his only begotten son for us, he may not have felt like giving it to us; but it was his own choice.  And thank God for the great decision. According to 1st Corinthians 13: 4-8, “love is patient, kind, it does not boast, rude or arrogant or resentful…..”  We can see here that to work in love it’s a lot of personal determination. Sometimes as human we get frustrated because we feel our patience is running thin. But because of our determination, we choose to be rather patience, the choice to stick together regardless of how a pain in the ass our spouses could get sometimes.
On the other side, we have Erotic love, which is ALL about our emotions. Eros love is about adrenaline, these are all the feelings we get when we are excited and of course we all know how temporary they are.
We cannot love OUT of feeling otherwise it will be temporary; it is all about the choices we make. If life is about feeling; a lot of us will be out of jobs now because we often feel like not getting up in the morning to work, we often feel like not paying our bills, but one way or the other we choose to get up and get ready for work in other to pay our bills. The problem that a lot of people are facing in their relationship is not solely about love, it’s rather about wrong choices we often make.
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. 1 John 4: 7-8 NKJV
The true definition of love is God, God is love and in order to understand the whole ideology of love, we all need to understand God. We need to know his ways, his commandment and appreciate his love for all of us despise our inadequacy. Love is a commandment; we are obligated to love one another.
We often hear these expression of love during our day to day life “I love you because of your nice figure, I love you because of your fine hazel eye, I love you because of your cute baby-face”, however if love is a condition, you can all firmly agree with me that when the condition can’t be fulfilled, there will be frustration or perhaps all these people will “fall out of love” as we often say. Love however IS NOT A CONDITION. If there is a reason attached to your love for something or somebody, then you are laying down terms and condition, certainly there is something wrong. You need to ask yourselves what if the baby face you fell in love with turns into old wrinkled face. What if the nice curves turned into saggy wobbly belly?
Love is a beautiful thing. Therefore, Let us love greatly; let us love because God commanded us to love. Choose the right way of loving. God is love. 
God bless xx

Twitter - @graciouz5


  1. im proud to say i know the writer... keep up the good work... Olapeju

  2. The true definition of love is God.. I love this..
    And God bless Adesewa..

  3. Thanks for the support miss peju ...
    @ florence, God is truly the definition of love..tnks

  4. Good piece dearie. Love is vital, it's second to none just as God is second to none. Choosing Love is choosing God and its the right decision.

  5. "The true definition of love is God,God is love & in order to understand the whole ideology of love,we all need to understand God".
    A deep definition of love. May the wisdom of God continually flow in U.

  6. "If u can control your process of Choosing, then you can take control of all aspect of your life... Well cited
    'Love is not a condition'

    Sooo happy and proud of you.. keep the ink flowing lil sis