Monday, 25 February 2013

Let's Play - The Blame Game by Ayobami Sholola


It's not my fault! One of the most common sentence around. It is fast becoming a trend in the society and organisations, everyone playing the blame game.

Nowadays, accepting responsibility for ones action seems to be a crime, a grave one and no one wants to commit it because we all fear what we perceive as its severe consequence - shame.


But we do always forget that in life, it is likely that we face two kinds of circumstances,  the ones we have no control over and those ones we face as a result of our own choices and actions.

The words and actions of others, the collapse of the economy,  some unfavourable company decisions, bad weather and so on might be some of the circumstances you have no control over. So you can justify your blame game.

What about the ones you face as a result of your choices, actions or lack of actions? Must you blame others for it as well? How will you justify that though?

In life, there are Accusers, they are the champions of the game. They blame everybody for their problems. They creatively analyse their situations and conclude on why they can't be blamed for their misfortunes. Are you among this champions?
No? Look around, you will find them.

There are also Excusers, they are the second best in the game. They won't blame much people or things, but they always have an excuse, why this is not that and why that is not this. There is always a reason why they can't achieve this or accomplish that. Is that where you belong?

Now, those considered to be failures are really those who always accept responsibilities for their lives and actions. They are called the Choosers! They chose to accept responsibility for their lives, goals, happiness, failures and success. They are not dependent upon anyone, they choose to be independent and unattached.

Very interesting, the blame game is not all about what you think it is or how you presumed it should be played. In this game, accusers and excusers ends up been the losers and the choosers the winners.

So, let me teach you how to play.

When the results are bad, and everyone is doing the pointing, keep you finger(s) down. Blaming others is laming your destiny. Accept responsibility for your actions. Life can go both ways, +ve or -ve, anyone that comes, embrace it and let it motivate you to keep trying, you will win in the end.

Finally, in your race to the top, don't blame your circumstances it shouldn't change you, it should shape you. Don't blame government, they shouldn't confine you, get emancipated. Don't blame your parents, they didn't make you. This is your life, not theirs. Don't blame your friends, they shouldn't silence you. You decide, they accept. Don't blame your finances, it shouldn't limit you. Everything is not money. Money is a tool, not treasure. Don't blame your career, it shouldn't restrain you, it should liberate you. Don't blame your culture, it shouldn't restrict you, it should loosen you and lastly, don't blame your past, it shouldn't control you. Be Free!


Taking responsibility is acknowledging and accepting the choices you have made, the actions you have taken, and the results they have led to. True autonomy leads to both having responsibility and taking responsibility. Taking responsibility is fulfilling your role in life. Responsibility is an essential element of integrity; it is the congruence of what you think, what you say, and what you do.

The price of greatness is responsibility. It is essential for reciprocity, trust, and for maintaining symmetric relationships.

So, my admonishment for you - Stop the game! Embrace the blame!


Engage me on twitter - @ayosholola

14 comments:

  1. If you shy away from taking blame for your actions and flaws, then you are a weakling. Be responsible enough to shoulder your responsibility and all that will come with it. Ayo wrote this piece beautifully and its a code of conduct for every man aspiring for greatness. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. Famuyide olawale

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  2. If you shy away from taking blame for your actions and flaws, then you are a weakling. Be responsible enough to shoulder your responsibility and all that will come with it. Ayo wrote this piece beautifully and its a code of conduct for every man aspiring for greatness. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. Famuyide olawale

    ReplyDelete
  3. Tomisin Ajiboye:
    Ayo, this so unpopular topic that you have dealt with. I love your honesty about in this write up and your approach. I just love it when you share from your deep thoughts and experience. Lesson learned once more, sir.

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  4. Thank you sir(s). Be happy, your son is delivering *wink*

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  5. It's true. We ve no excuse in ds world. It's what we do dat comes bck 2 hunt us. So if U̶̲̥̅̊ do what's good, something good comes bck & if it's d otherway round, good luck. So it pays 2 do good anywhere u go

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  6. Life is too sacred for accussers, too real for excussers and too meaningful for choosers. You ve got to make a meaning out of your livnig; with your enemy's opposition or withiut your frind's support.

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  7. Only d responsible individuals takes responsibility 4 deir actions

    ReplyDelete