Tuesday, 12 March 2013

Famuyide Olawale: In Search Of Me


Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation
― Oscar Wilde

Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armour yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you
― George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones

Last week, I saw a movie titled ‘Identity Thief’. It is a comedy movie and I laughed so hard. A day after it, the movie title flashed across my mind and it dawned on me that I have also been in Diana’s (Melissa McCarthy) shoe, well with the exception of stealing credit card (lol) but she lost herself while trying to be someone else. In the post below, you are likely to come across ME....well my semi old self. Don't worry, I’m improving daily. *smiles*


An individual forms an identity by the decisions he/she makes.  Our choice, decision, lifestyles and experiences are all part of what define our identity as individuals. Our identities are interwoven with the kind of family we came from, friends we keep, and what moral standard we hold in high esteem. Our personal identities are hinged on these 3 points. This I have discovered from my experience.

Self Awareness
Self awareness is a way for us to explore our individual personalities, value systems, beliefs, natural inclinations, and tendencies. With our busy schedules it might be difficult to find time to think about who we are, our strengths and weaknesses, our drives and personalities, our habits and values. We are different individuals with different views of the world. Being aware of oneself helps to have a glimpse of insight into ourselves. This helps us to identify our strength, so as to build on it and learn how to overcome and "manage” our weaknesses and improve on ourselves generally. When we are aware of these two, setting a target for ourselves become easy. An aspect of identity is a person's choice to know they are responsible for every action and decision. Knowing oneself is the true knowledge.

Self Esteem
Growing up was a challenge for me, due to how I grew up, I had no faith in myself and the things that I could do. I hardly celebrated my successes. I was never good enough for anything in my own eyes. I shied away from lots of things. Even now, you will hardly find me in public (currently working on that, lol). Most people said that I was a boring person and "not lively", I guess they were right. But what most people didn’t  know back then was that, I wasn't boring or an introvert, I was only suffering from Low Self Esteem. I didn’t believe in my own voice. If a person has no self-esteem or has extremely low self-esteem, he will likely suffer from self destructive thoughts or thoughts of hurting others to make him feel powerful. Someone wrote that "A person's self-esteem may be reflected in their behavior, such as in assertiveness, shyness, confidence or caution". Possessing little self-regard can lead people to become depressed, to fall short of their potential, or to tolerate abusive situations and relationships. While a person does not have to have extremely high self-esteem to have an identity, believing in his talents, positive traits and values gives him a healthy identity in his environment.


What do you believe in?
Our beliefs are the difference between high and low self-esteem. It is important to realize that these are only opinions, they are not facts. They can be biased or inaccurate. Our beliefs and what we value form an identity. Our combined belief in God, science and educational values are what forms our identity and understanding of what our values and beliefs are. This is an important aspect of personal identity.  People use both their values and beliefs to guide their actions and behaviour as well as helping to form their attitudes towards different things.
Along the way we do often experience identity changes (identity shifts) which is closely dependent on our change of values and believes as they mature and get stirred up.

 Orbans sang this:

Don't lose yourself in your heartache
Don't lose yourself in your life change
Don't lose yourself when your heart break
Cause it's the only place
No one wants to be

You can only give your best to others when you are in touch with the best in yourself!

I am @famuyideolawale
I am reader, not a writer.

40 comments:

  1. Abiola Oyeniran13 March 2013 at 06:46

    Most times we get lost in the crowd or in other people opinions of they think we shld be, but we have to always remember that the best person to be is yourself. Thanks for sharing Olawale

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  2. Hmmmmmmm,powerful,indepth and on point.As always well done,start celebrating yourself because you are a WRITER not just a READER.
    Kemi Ogunro

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    1. Hahaha, Kemi, thanks for your kind word, am still a reader. If you need a writer, ask Ayo sogunro.

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  3. Very interesting piece ,I lern from it .

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  4. "Knowing oneself is the true knowledge" True talk. Let's hope folks will understand this.

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  5. Yaaayy!!! Thanks boss, you are too kind sir. Bless you.

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  6. Tope Aigba (@Topsyken)13 March 2013 at 08:12

    Good one Olawale. When people look inward and know who they really are,majority of the problems we think we av are solved.I celebrate myself cos I'm Me and not another person.

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    1. "I celebrate myself cos I'm Me and not another person." GBAM!!! Well said Aunty Tope. Thanks.

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  7. This is a rich and deep piece, so glad I'm reading this. My take away, "You can only give your best to others when you are in touch with the best in yourself!". Please keep the post coming :)

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    1. Mr segun, thanks sir for the encouragement. Please do find time to go through the entire blog, there are materials that will bless and inspire you.

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  8. I'm also somewhat of an introvert but I don't think I have low self esteem issues sha though I'm aware I can be very vain sometimes.

    I'm fun online and boring offline 'cause I put up walls to hide the real me which some folks might find repulsive.

    I was in this phase of *searching for me* for many years until 7 years ago. I'm a lot comfortable with that me though I sometimes wish I could just let down my guard and let it shine through more often.

    Okbye. I'm done rambling. Lol

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    1. The good doctor, thanks for this beautiful addition.

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  9. You are @famuyideolawale, you are a reader and a good writer.
    Good piece bro.

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    1. My oga @sayinfluence, thanks sir, you are too kind. Well I will still say am a reader o, MrBankole is the writer. Lol

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  10. "While a person does not have to have extremely high self-esteem to have an identity, believing in his talents, positive traits and values gives him a healthy identity in his environment."

    Thank you for this. I guess you wrote it for me :)

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    1. Thanks Mr yinka, am glad you like it, you made me blush purple. Hehehehe. Cheers

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  11. A honest piece, identity crisis is most important problem of our generation. Good read.

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    1. Thank you bro and I agreed with you. Once we discover ourselves, then it will be easier to discover our world and know where we fits in.

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  12. Hmmmmmmm..... Great article first of all, sir!

    Secondly, I totally relate with the low self esteem thingy. Suffered a lot from it as a young gal... The day I knew better....liberation!!!!

    I'm a better person now and comfortable with my melancholic+sanguine dual personality. :D

    Your article warmed me up...I hope it has same effect on others too. :) Thank you!

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    1. Am so happy that you have discovered yourself. We all need liberation. Thanks for sharing and encouraging us with you experience.

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  13. At the entrance to the Temple of Apollo in Delphi is the inscription: Man Know Thyself.
    This is a universal admonition and ably put in different words here by Famuyideolawale.

    There is no better advice if one is to achieve self realization and stability in life.

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  14. Thank you boss, and thanks for the new title "Man Know Thyself" Maybe i sholu ask the Admin to allow me change the title. lool. God bless you sir>

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  15. Great piece sir! The great readerwriter *wink* I was touched by the statement; 'I didn't believe in my own voice' Until we discover who we truly are, we'll never believe our voices are worthy of attention.
    -Veradine @tosinaladenusi

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  16. " Until we discover who we truly are, we'll never believe our voices are worthy of attention." <-----this worth taking note of. Thanks Miss Tosin for this. You have giving me something to think of. Discovery and Attention. Nice touch ma'am

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