Tuesday, 21 May 2013

#LearnersDiary: Lesson 2 - Self Evaluation

I guess I don’t need any more introductions; everyone now calls me a Learner. The last time on twitter, @Questionnaire asked people to copy (or mention) a learner they know, I was so surprised, more than 50 tweeps including that “slim taller than thou boy” called Demola (@OccupyNaija) copied (or mentioned) me *SMH*. It’s amazing how people learn so fast when it comes to name calling.

Okay, thank God I made it back again, this is not a remix though; it’s another lesson from my diary. Two weeks ago I started with Comparison and I appreciate all your comments. On this one too, I urge you to please enlighten me more with your contributions and comments.

So what have I learned?

I've learned that self evaluation may not be totally personal, but if you give the job to the wrong valuer (assessor), you might be disappointed.

A valuer in context is someone who assesses and place value on something e.g. property. I used this word here to represent those we are always looking forward to for personal assessment. There are some theories which suggest that one will have to rely on other people’s assessment to discover one’s true value or worth. Meanwhile, after learning this particular lesson, I felt so unlucky not to have known earlier. I learnt this the hard way after years of struggling with other people’s theory on my being. I was actually looking for who I am and what I worth in other people’s head, and each time, different and contradictory evaluation is what I got.

Self-value is an important virtue that any human being can acquire and should acquire. Knowing your value is just as important as knowing your Purpose and having a Vision. It is a process of self discovery which is necessary for personal liberation.  When you know your value you don't care how people value you because you know what they are missing by devaluing you.

In short, you know what you are worth and therefore no one or any situation can determines your value or your worth (that is personal liberation).

Many people have allowed others to define to them, their value or worth. That is why a person may condemn himself; if for instance, he fails to qualify for a job, gain admission to a particular institution, or fails a particular test. Such a person may become dejected, confused and hopeless because he doesn't know how much he is worth. Like I said earlier, this is one of the greatest lessons I have learnt so far, for so long, I have allowed people to value me, I have listened to perceptions, opinions and each time, confusion and sadness takes over me. This resulted in low self esteem and lack of confidence. Meanwhile, after knowing the truth about myself, I was a bit satisfied to have gone through those tough times, they helped me to appreciate the moment of self discovery, just as one appreciate light after a moment of darkness.

Knowing yourself is an important step to self-valuing. Many of us know the history about many great people but the unfortunate thing is that we don't really know anything about ourselves. The great men and women became an example to us because they knew who they were. It takes only people who know who they are to make an impact; in effect you cannot make any positive impact here on this earth if you do not know who you are. Get into yourself and know the potentials and gifts you possess and begin to develop and use them. Click here HERE for help on this.

Self-valuing does not come by chance. You must work towards it and never forget that you are the only one who knows your worth. The way you treat yourself gives others the idea of your worth. It is therefore important to know your worth.

So how should you go about it?

1. Love Yourself

The road to self-value or valuing oneself begins with loving yourself. Many people can give out love to others but only few can people can really love and appreciate themselves. Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all. This does not mean being selfish, that is not the issue. You are a person and as such you deserve good things in life, therefore treat yourself well. When you have much love for yourself, you build a strong internal pillar of love and this will keep you going when external love (love from others) vanishes. Take time to say good things about yourself to yourself. Don't blame or hurt yourself so much when things go wrong, and don't forget to praise yourself for every little success, and congratulate yourself for you deserve it.

2. Understand Yourself worth

Do you understand that you were destined to do great things? Do you believe in your ability to make a difference in the world you live in? Do you not remember that you are beautifully and wonderfully made and deserve the very best of EVERYTHING? Oh, you haven’t taught about that! Therefore, change that today with a new self-perception. Self-worth is a universal language. Your very entrance and presence in a room says so much about how you value yourself. Put your best foot forward everywhere you go—externally and internally. Your clothes may say one thing but your inner man may need a translation to help you get on the same page within yourself.

3. Appreciate Others

Sincerely appreciate the unique gifts of others and praise them if need be. In doing so, you will also will begin to appreciate God for whom he has made you to be and never forget to thank God for your life because your life matters to him and to this world.

4. Take Charge, Accept Responsibility For Your life

I have always been stressing the impact of this on our lives. You must take responsibility for what impacts your perception of yourself starting today. What is happening in your life and how you have been treated is based on your perception of your life and your self-worth; Think bigger and better. Get radical about your life. End all bad relationships now and do not look back. Do not engage in negative conversations whether it is by text, voice call, online social networking, or even email - Get off the phone, get off of the computer and get back in touch with the one who can change your situation. Seek God.

5. Pursue Your Dreams

Be determined to pursue your goals and your dreams because your very life depends on it. Take a notebook and write down your short-term and long-term goals and develop an action plan as to how you will achieve them. Don’t wait for someone else to push your dream. Get help where needed, but above all, tap into God’s power inside of you to help make that dream become a reality. For Him, nothing is impossible! Your life deserves it, you are worth it. Get back in touch with who you really are!

There are more, but I will stop here so that you can contribute them in the comments section.

Always Remember this:

If you’re not being treated with love and respect, check your ‘Price Tag.’ Perhaps you have marked yourself down. It’s ‘you’ who tells people what your worth by what you accept. Get off the ‘Clearance Rack’ and get behind the glass where they keep all the VALUABLES. Bottom line is . . . VALUE yourself! 
Know your worth!

Have I learnt the right lesson?

Twitter - ayoSholola
Facebook - Ayobami Sholola


  1. People taking self-evaluations are forced to think critically and realistically about their own skills and abilities, and for some it may be an uncomfortable process. Thanks for this sir.

    1. Thanks for that wonderful summary. Bless you sir

  2. I couldn't agree less, self evaluation is a very important thing, if you don't take yourself serious, who will?

    1. if you don't take yourself serious, who will?

      LOL what a perfect sentence to end this with

      Thanks Boro!

  3. Woahhh, folks in the office gats know a better me henceforth; on to self re-evaluation now.... See-saw later! Thanks man for this Mr Sholola Learner

  4. This is quite an introspective piece and embodies some of the rigorous 'soul searches'one has to embark on to 'arrive'.

    I differ with the author in one regard: I believe there is value in the estimation of other people with regards to one's worth, contributions, etc. It could be a motivating value or even cautionary value.However my thought converges with the author's to the extent that the value of others regarding one's worth can/must only be contexted within one's self-appraisal. If one has done a good job of this self-appraisal, even negative feedback will have value because the self-appraisal will take it as motivating or expose it as malicious.

    I really enjoyed reading this, well done and thank you!

    1. Thank you for this great contribution. Like I said in the piece, am a learner and I can't but accept your side of argument, especially as you have done it in a more creative and expository manner.
      Am still Learning. Thank you sir

    2. sáng tạo trang trí cho phép thử nghiệm và đem lại cho đồ đạc nhà sự kinh ngạc và nét riêng biệt. Đó là một thời điểm tốt để biến giấc mơ bạn đã ấp ủ bao lâu nay vươn lên là hiện thực. Hôm nay bạn có thể trang tri noi that căn hộ của bạn bằng cách thêm ghe sofa bố trí mới lạ, phản ánh ước mơ của bạn. sat my thuat bộ sưu tập của những sáng kiến phá cách cho bức tường trống sẽ giúp sắm bí quyết tốt nhất cho nội thất chung cư của bạn và cung cấp cho nguồn mê say tối ưu cho những dự án trang hoàng. do go phong khach , do go nha bep , do go phong ngu , giúp khu vực sống thay đổi một cách nhanh chóng. Một lớp sơn mới sáng trên bức tường của bạn hoặc bông hoa đẹp trên nền hiện đại là những phát minh pha chế nội thất tường thông minh và phản ánh các khuynh hướng mới nhất. Bức tường không hề chỉ là một màu nhất quán. Ngoài ra còn có phần lớn những loại khoa học trang hoàng bạn có thể thử trên những bức tường trống rỗng của bạn như gia cong sat , gia cong inox , bang hieu , logo , poster , gian hang hoi cho , cong chao su kien , su kien quang cao

  5. immatazu@gmail.com22 May 2013 at 12:46

    Its quite incisive, enlightening and straight! Thnx

  6. Many people have missed out on a couple of good things in life on account of ascribing to what others scored them. When you take yourself with high self esteem and valuable, tou will be perturbed at the level of what your accomplishment will be. Believe in yourself unconditionally and explicitly. Believe you can and you are halfway there. Good job Ayo. This an eye opener. RABIU USMAN..@rabiusm

    1. "Believe in yourself unconditionally and explicitly. Believe you can and you are halfway there"

      That will touch and help somebody, I believe!

      Thank you sir

  7. Between just existing and actual living is a thin line, woven with the fabrics of Self discovery and the value we place on ourselves.

    This is a beautiful write up.

    1. "Between just existing and actual living is a thin line, woven with the fabrics of Self discovery and the value we place on ourselves"

      I will always remember this line....
      Thank you!

  8. I remember like a life-time ago I'll handout writting pad and ask people to evaluate me, I almost always end up depressed after reading what they have to say. The key is get to know who you are and what you are called to do, self-evaluation is the best form of evaluation cos you are the one who knows the core you. Here's what I say to myself "you are your best cheerleader and wherever you go bring your own sunshine". Thanks Ayobami for sharing. Abiola

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