Join us
this morning as we welcome @topsyken on another wonderful session on #YouthsEngage as she discusses "WOMEN AND BALANCE"...
Enjoy
Good morning Great People. My name is Temitope Aigba but I
prefer using Tope Aigba. Sounds better shey? Errrrmmmmm where do I start from o??? Ok. Tope
Aigba is d first child in a family of 9. I'm ijebu by birth from Ogun State but
married to an Etsako man from Edo State. I
graduated from the former Ogun State University now Olabisi Onabanjo University
Ogun State in 2001 and went for NYSC in 2002 in Imo State where I met Bros. We
got married in October 2005 after some tribal wars sha o *chuckles*
Nine
months after marriage, God blessed us with a baby boy (Our General) in 2006. God
blessed us with good jobs though we had a rocky start. Part of the dictates of
d jobs is constant traveling.
I
remember the day I saw my result that I qualified as a Chartered Accountant. I
was so overblown with joy that I jumped on him (I’m on the big side,
stature-wise) & afterwards knelt to thank him. He was my push and he still
is my push. Even when I doubt myself, he tells me I can do it.
After
my qualification, I was promoted at work. This means more responsibilities and
odd hours.
In the
course of this schedule, I joined twitter and met some people that helped birth
dreams and responsibilities. Through this, I got interested in politics &
governance and that made me meet and join some notable groups. Also via
twitter, I started writing and joined advocacy against rape and sexual abuses.
My writing was birth by Debo Adejugbe @deboadejugbe and d advocacy by Arome Ameh @_iamarome . I got involved with the #20MillionYouthsFor2015 with the likes of Chinedu Ekeke @nedunaija ,
Muyiwa Olumide @MrEnclave ,Jude Egbas @egbas etc and lots of work has been done
and is still on, all for good governance, accountability and transparency. I
also got involved with a major work last year via Dupe Kafidipe @dupekilla on the #childnotbride issue. This consumed a lot of time and energy.
Last
year, I started lecturing professional students (ICAN) on weekends.
Through this entire schedule, I maintain a busy time at work
since I'm a manager in an audit environment. The schedules are tight but I have a source of
strength. My source is God. At times, I
wonder how I do all this but I know that all I do is from my Father God. He
alone gives the grace to balance it.
I have
a good mother that I fall back on for sound advices and I also have fathers
that guide me.
But
above all, I have a great man that believes in me and allows me express myself
to any length. He is my cheerleader.
When there was a clash between home chores & work schedules,
I got some home appliances to ease the stress. There is an understanding btw Bros & I
about home chores. I do the washing, he does the sweeping and cleaning. Now, this
understanding was not forced on him. He volunteered when he saw the amount of
stress I was under. He was willing to help
and has been helping and I don't take it for granted. I appreciate him daily
for all he does.
As a
wife, all this chores and schedules has a way of creeping in and rubbing one of
strength to fulfill marital duties. You go out to a 8-6pm job, you get home and
start cooking, read n prepare for lectures, at times wash that night........And
the man will still expect you to be responsive during "browsing time"
after such a day? Hmmmm! It requires grace.
There
is no sense being a great career woman or a wonderful mother if you are not a
greater wife. The Bible says in Proverbs 14:1, “that the wise woman builds her
home”. This is the scripture my mom uses to counsel me always. When your home
is built, every other areas automatically falls in place.
My
involvement on social media took a lot from me because I had to take time to
convince Bros especially after that Cynthia case on facebook. My son knows the
code to my iPad and my husby have access to my social media platforms. I needed
to carry him along. All these were necessarily so as to be able to do all I
needed to do with his blessings.
Let me
share a recent happening here. Some weeks back, I went to Lagos for a personal
issue. I told Bros that I'll be going for the #BringBackOurGirls protest in Lagos on that Monday and he said
ok. Prior to then, I've been very sick and lost a lot of blood. We did not
think about my health. I went for the protest and collapsed at Gov Fashola's
office. @Araabmooney @Ayourb @lanreneville and @gbengagold were God sent because they helped revive me. Ridwan
@Araabmooney had to walk with me back to the road till I
picked a cab & got home. When I got home, I called him (husby) and told him
what happened. He shared with me that early that morning he had d urge to pray
for me and the other protesters and he did. I was grateful to God. Imagine if I had not told him and something like that
happened?
Maintaining
a balance in your home is first hinged on your relationship with God. By
strength shall no man prevail. He alone knows how to order everything. Apart
from God, I'll have you know that every man is different. Understand the
peculiarities in your spouse.
From
all I've said about my Bros here, he seems a wonderful man shey? *yinmu*. You
won't want to see us kwanta o! One of d earliest things I learnt in marriage is
that, my marriage I what I make it to be. My mouth is my weapon. My marriage is
btw 3 people; God, Bros & I. No external party allowed.
If you have
issues with your spouse, the best person to take the issue to is the person’s
Father, God. He is never partial. I am what I am today by the Grace of God upon
me and by the support of my Bros.
I'm
full of mistakes and flaws and too stubborn sef *I know that myself* but daily
I look also to God for help. Balance in any area of life can only be maintained
in and through God. By strength shall no man prevail.
Women,
there is power in submission. Whatever u may have or be, submit to your man. It
pays. That you are submissive doesn't mean you are a slave. In actual fact, submission
brings power. In that little time u have, celebrate your husband. Make him the
king he is. Be his friend, his lover, his secretary etc. Be interested in
everything that concerns him. Make him the centre of your attraction. And you'll
see a man that can do anything for you!
You are
first his wife. Don't be a prude in d bedroom. Make your bedroom a place he is
always eager to come to. A lot of us make this
mistake; because u cook well and have kids, so what? Na onle u go first sabi cook
n born Pikin? Abeggi! Set your husband on fire with passion. Get sexy
lingeries and bedspread. Do awesome things to him *wink*. Do you know that the
sexual moment that you both are one, any word or prayer said in agreement
clicks? I'm a witness. It works.
Dress well. Dress attractively for your husby. Don't neglect yourself
and start tying wrapper around d house Biko! Treat your husby like the king he is. Serve his
food well. Stop keeping d good plates for visitors. He deserves more.
My
sisters, balance can only be found in God as we daily understand what is
important in life.
Grace
& Peace to us all.
All I needed to hear and more. God bless you richly ma!
ReplyDeleteAmen. Thank you Dami for reading. All glory is to God alone.
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